busyb64

My Adventures in Online Dating

on September 2, 2013

After my divorce was final, I decided to try the online dating thing.  Living in a small town, it seemed preferable to going to the bar.  Which was pretty much my only other option, besides the internet.  The hardest part was taking a picture of myself.  I really prefer to be behind the camera, not in front of it, and I always look heavier in photos that I do in person.  At any rate, here is a list of what I learned.

1.  Have thick skin!  Not every man will fall in love at first site.  And, actually, you don’t want the ones who would.  Too needy.

2.  Men are VERY visual creatures.  Don’t spend a ton of time on the written portion of your profile.  Most don’t read it.  But, DO post several photos.  Especially a full body pic, or you will get asked for one. 

3.  Don’t be afraid to do a google search on a prospective date.  Wisconsin has a free website to look up anyone’s court record.   If someone is unwilling to give a last name, it probably isn’t someone you want to meet.

4.  Make sure you tell someone where you are going, and who you are going to meet.  Safety first!  Always meet in public!

5.  A free site will work just as well as a pay one.  I discovered the same men on several sites.  Why pay?

6.  Scammers are out there.  DON’T fall for the sob stories!!  You shouldn’t have to send someone money so they can come meet you.  If it(they) sound too good to be true, they probably are.

7.  Follow your gut instincts.  There were a couple times I regretted not following mine.

8.  Don’t be afraid to meet for a soda/tea/coffee etc first.  No need for a big dinner date to start.  If you don’t feel that there is any chemistry, you sure don’t want to sit through a big meal.

9.  It was my preference to meet in person shortly after making contact online.  Too much time spent on the phone led to false feelings of chemistry.  Turns out I was just as visual as men.  Who’d a thunk that?

10.  It isn’t uncommon for men to just want to use you for sex.  Do it or not, your choice, just be safe and use protection.  Some will want it on the first date, others will let you set the pace, but once you give it up, they may disappear. 

Now for a couple of funny stories….

I was contacted by a man who was a nudist.  Wanted to know if I had ever experienced the life style. Uh no, sorry. Not now, not ever.

I met a guy one night who looked just like Ernie Douglas from My Three Sons.  He had a tough time looking me in the eye while we were talking.  He also looked waaaaay different than his profile had led me to believe.  Shorter, and less hair.  The hair wouldn’t have bothered me, but the fact that he lied about his height did.  I faked a phone call from home, and cut the night short. 

I met another guy for an ice cream cone.  That poor man was sweating soooo bad, I thought he was going to have an anxiety attack right there.  It made me wonder just how nervous he would be if we ever made it to the bedroom.

Another guy made it past the first meet, and we started dating.  After about 5 dates, he professed to love me.  As flattering as that was, I couldn’t keep seeing him.  He ended up calling me anonymously for several months.  Finally quit when Steve answered the phone for me one morning. 

Had one guy tell me I was like saran wrap.  Since he thought I was too clingy, I stopped all calls/texts. Not that I initiated many anyway.  He had also told me that the most he had to offer was a committed relationship, but that he wasn’t even ready for that yet.  Ok.  When he told me a second time, I let him know I had heard him the first time and that since he had made it known he didn’t consider us in a relationship, that I knew I was free to date others.  He didn’t really like that either.  Can’t have your cake and eat it too.

I’m very happy I met Steve.  We met online 3yrs ago this weekend.  I can’t imagine what my life would be like without him.

Any adventures of your own to share??  I’d love to hear them!

 

 

 

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2 responses to “My Adventures in Online Dating

  1. mdog32 says:

    I attract the needy weirdos who ask if they can buy me underwear and paint my toenails. Ummm…not. I pay an asian guy to paint my nails and I can buy my own underwear thank you. I gave up. I agree the same guys are on the same site, as am I, so I guess that doesn’t say much for me!! LOL. If I’m meant to meet him, he’ll find me in person. Although, I did hear about a new website, sugardaddy.com!! I’m afraid to look! ~Gina

  2. busyb64 says:

    I met Steve on Datehookup.com. Pretty much the same as other sites, despite the name.

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